“But … it wasn’t my fault!”
Posted by John G. Miller“To DEFLECT is human, to REFLECT is accountability.”
@QBQGuy
Got spam? I sure do. Sadly, I’ve learned to tolerate it much of it, hoping it goes straight into my “trash” folder. But yesterday, I got a “spammy” email that looked and felt somewhat legit. From a firm selling phone services, the sender was Matthew and it started like this:
John,
Hope this message finds you well. We spoke recently about your business phone system, and I wanted to share …
Whoa!!! Stop the presses!!! I have NEVER spoken to this guy or anyone else from RingCentral.But, instead of deleting it, I looked it over. Seeing a professional signature containing Matthew’s full name and a Denver, Colorado phone number, I sensed this actually had a real human behind it.
And was I ever right … about the human part!
My response:
Matthew, to prospect is one thing—I’ve done it for almost 30 years—but to outright lie is another. You know that we have never talked. Please take me off this list.
Well, when he answered me immediately, not only did I know there was a real person behind the “spam,” I knew how human he is!His reply:
These emails are sent out on my behalf from my Marketing Department. I have no control over the content.
So, I politely sent him the Amazon link to the QBQ! book on PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY. I just couldn’t resist. The devil made me do it. Here’s the question:
When I am confronted with truth, a problem, or a ball that has been dropped where I was involved, do I DEFLECT or REFLECT?
To DEFLECT is human, to REFLECT is accountability.
The difference is in the immediate reaction. Here:Deflect: But … it wasn’t my fault!
Reflect: Hmm, what part did I have in this and how could I have handled it differently?
Back in the 1990s, when I first created “Personal Accountability and the QBQ!” one of my early keynotes was at Redline HealthCare, a distributor of medical products. After my presentation, the CEO, Rob Carr, said, “John, I suppose you don’t get many standing ovations, do you?”
“Why would you say that, Rob?” I asked apprehensively.
His reply was insightful.
“Because your QBQ tool—and its message of personal accountability—makes me think so darn hard.”
Accountable people, though, do that—they think darn hard. They also immediately seek to REFLECT, even when it hurts.
And the good news is, Ben Franklin said … ”If it hurts, it instructs!”
Application:
The last time anything went wrong in your life, did you immediately DEFLECT or REFLECT? If you DEFLECTED, what was the cost and how would you handle it now?
If you REFLECTED, what were the benefits of doing so?
Feel free to be specific, we’d love to hear. Comment away!
If you liked this message, you’d like this one, too: 5 Lessons Learned When I Stopped Making Excuses
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