The Kick Ass Guide to Enjoying The Holidays – no matter who you’re with
I know, I know, we are supposed to cherish our family and look forward to spending the Holidays with them. I also know that this isn’t always the case for most people.You might have a mother-in-law who is overly controlling. Maybe you have a sister who is a bit too critical for your liking. What about Uncle Bob who always drinks too much? Or, your Aunt who is always late. Or your brother who always seems to find a way to offend someone and cause an argument.
It can be stressful to be with family when our expectations are so high for having a wonderful Holiday celebration!
Here are my (somewhat sarcastic) suggestions for having a fantastic holiday, no matter who you’re with:
- Get wasted. Well, I don’t mean to say you should actually get bombed but I do suggest a glass of wine or two. It’s amazing how imbibing a little can calm your frayed nerves and give you a little extra grace toward people who annoy you. If you don’t drink, just pretend you’re wasted. This helps quite a bit with #2 below.
- Laugh. Make sure you decide in advance that you are going to have a good time, no matter what (or who)! Find ways to laugh even if it means private jokes in your head about the ugly sweater your sister-in-law is wearing. This one goes great with that glass of wine I mentioned in #1.
- Lower your expectations. Make them way, way lower. I know you have visions of the perfect meal and everyone getting along and all the kids behaving like angels. Cut it out! Be realistic and know that things may not go exactly as planned. Also know that this is part of the charm of the holidays and will make for a great story next year! Lower expectations mean you have a better chance of feeling like things went GREAT at the end of the day.
- Get off your butt. Do not. Do not; sit in one place the whole time. Get off your butt. Walk around and socialize. Offer to help. Play with the kids. Go get another drink. Movement can do wonders for changing your attitude if it’s going downhill.
- Smile. Yep, just smile. No matter what you just heard her say. It will make you feel better and it will confuse everyone around you.
- Remember why you love them. Think of each family member and come up with one quirky, funny or even annoying thing about them and realize that is part of their charm. You love them because of it, not in spite of it. And if you can’t come up with anything, have another drink.
- Know that it will soon be over. This is only one moment in time. Whether it’s going great or horribly, don’t put too much weight on it. This too shall pass…until the next holiday.
What do you do to make sure you enjoy the Holidays? Please share your stories!
Sometimes we just don’t believe or trust that we can be successful in a particular area. Some of you don’t believe you have been or ever will be successful at anything. We tell ourselves things like, “I can’t” or “I’ve never been good at that” or “I don’t know what to do”. First of all, let me just say, that is the not the voice of truth you hear. It is the voice of fear. I’ve written many times about fear. If you need a refresher, go read this one. Second, that is also an example of negative, dis-empowering thoughts. Need a refresher on how this kind of thought sabotages you, go here.The truth is you can find whatever evidence you need to back up any claim. You find what you are looking for. If you insist on looking for evidence that you don’t measure up or that you’re stupid, you will absolutely find it. If you decide to look for evidence that says you are awesome, you will find that. So, why not focus on finding the evidence that says you can be successful in whatever you endeavor? It’s a simple concept that will change your life if you embrace it.
What proof do you have that you CAN do it? What evidence can you find that you not only measure up but that you’re awesome? What evidence are you ignoring that proves you are creative or intelligent or accountable or all of these things? Think of examples from your past when you did something even though it was challenging. Things like, graduating from college – that took perseverance and focus. What about raising kids? That takes immense skill, patience and commitment. What about a past job that you excelled at? What about a physical challenge that you stepped up to or an emotional one?
I know if you think about it you can find evidence that shows that you have what it takes to do anything you set your mind to. Yes, you have experienced setbacks and failures. We all have. Don’t focus on the times it didn’t go the way you wanted. Those perceived failures are part of the process. You learned from it and now you’re even more prepared to be successful this time.
Practice building evidence that you have what it takes to accomplish what you want. In the process, you will also develop self trust which will lead to self confidence. I challenge you to find at least 10 pieces of Success Evidence. If you’re having a hard time with it, enlist the help of a friend or family member who knows you well. I promise you have way more than 10 pieces of evidence to the fact that you are awesome and can do anything you set your mind to.
These do not have to be big, grand accomplishments. Look for any and all evidence that leads to your success. Write these down! You know I’m always saying that but you really should be putting your personal development work in a notebook.
By the way, the minute you start this exercise or even think about it, fear is going to jump up and tell you not to do it. Fear is going to remind you of how you blew it that one time at work or the time you didn’t do something well. This is also part of the process and it does not mean anything other than fear wants to keep you stuck right where you are.
So, are you willing to give it a shot? If you are, I would like to hear about the evidence you find. Fill out the contact form or send me an email or comment on this post. That would be awesome!
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