Complaining: less is better QBQ

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Complaining: Less Is Better

Posted by John G. Miller

After I had keynoted on “Personal Accountability and the QBQ!” at the IBEW conference five blocks from the White House, an older gent approached me to offer a favorite quote in reinforcement of my message. With a smile, he said this:

“My hands are too full of things to do for me to carry a complaint.”

Good one.

Complain, complain, complain! That’s what humans do, eh? I know that I have to work very hard to not be a complainer myself.
In Parenting the QBQ Way, Karen and I wrote this, which still makes me chuckle …

If you ask Karen if John ever slips into victim thinking and whining, she’ll tell you he wears a sign around his neck at home that screams CHIEF COMPLAINER! Being a verbal guy, one who likes to express just about every thought he has in the form of declaratory statements, candid observations, and unsolicited counsel, John often sounds like he’s complaining. And sometimes he is.

Now, that may all be true since I am terribly “verbal,” but I remain a mild defender of “complaining” in this sense:
If complaining means speaking up when things could be better, then clearly that’s needed, right? I mean, if people never speak up when something can be improved, um, well—then nothing would ever be improved!
But, of course, the common use of the word “complaining” is in reference to the grating habit of commenting over and over on stuff that one has no control over.
Maybe that’s where this line came from, the source of which is slightly in dispute:

“Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it!”

All I know as a guy who has taught “accountability” in the marketplace since 1994, life is better when I stop complaining and start asking a QBQ (quick tutorial) such as, “What can I do to contribute?” As evidence, I present to you an email from a reader of QBQ! The Question Behind the Question:

I’ve been a registered nurse for eleven years and have always been a hard worker. After reading QBQ!, my thought process changed and I began to work more efficiently and faster, and to complain less. I work at a transplant center and, trust me, people in healthcare complain a lot!
This positive change in my behavior was noticed by my administrators so they promoted me to Transplant Nurse Manager of the liver/intestine transplant services unit. I attribute this opportunity to my change in perspective—and I attribute my change in perspective to reading QBQ!
It’s amazing how much negativity, victim thinking, procrastination, and blame a person notices after reading your book. The hardest part is resisting the urge to want everyone else to practice personal accountability and beating them over the head with the book to make them get it!
Orlando G.

(A quick aside, reread Orlando’s last paragraph and then note Truth #1 on our new accountability poster.)
So, in the end, I think that we can agree that less complaining is better and people can change. How about you?
What do you complain about? What do you hear others complain about? How does complaining affect your organization’s culture? How does it affect our home life?
Jump right in and share! We’re waiting! Thanks!
(If you are not a subscriber to our QBQ! QuickNotes, sign up here.)

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