Sophia Viklund’s Transformation
| 25 | Jul |
| 2013 |
Submitted by:
Sophia Viklund
Being an extrovert, I never had difficulty making new friends or connecting
with people. And I am grateful to be a part of a well-connected group of local
Los Angeles “influencers.”
You’ll find me at numerous conferences and local community events for entrepreneurs, engineers and students, meeting thousands of new people. Introductions beget introductions, and a big community was created. It’s a dream world for an entrepreneur where innovative companies are built and amazing experiences are had, all with an L.A. backdrop.
I realize how fortunate I am to live this life – but it still feels very lonely. Even with 1,000+ LinkedIn connections, Facebook, Google Plus friends and thousands of Twitter followers, it’s easy to “never be alone” and still feel very lonely.
Having many contacts in the address book may look and feel impressive, but how many of them are actual, true friends? Through my experience of having run several businesses before, I know that very few people stick around during tough times. But one is always guaranteed to have lots of friends during times of success. So how do you go about deepening existing “light” relationships and turning mere acquaintances, or Google Plus friends/Twitter followers, into real, close relationships?
The solution exists: one of the most effective methods to creating more powerful and lifelong connections is perfectly described in Keith Ferrazzi‘s book Never Eat Alone, which I first found and read in 2006. It had a powerful and positive impact on my personal and professional life as well as on my career development. Keith’s ideas have been a game changer – they brought into existence a great system of how to do this in the best way possible. And ever since, I’ve always kept several copies of his book in my library to gift to my closest friends and professional contacts.
True friends are people who keep us real and tell us the truth about our lives. They are not afraid to give constructive criticism. They are not motivated by the desire to just look nice and say nothing if they see things about us that we could change for the better. They are not afraid to speak up.
Tue friends help us understand ourselves better, they are honest but also offer much needed encouragement. They’re not persuaded by exclusive invitations or access to hard-to-get-into companies, parties and events.
We all need more true friends. I surely do! More specifically, we all need our average “connections” to become deeper, more meaningful friendships.
It takes work and time to form a lasting friendship. It takes many face-to-face meetings over lunch, dinner or coffee. It takes an exchange of ideas, thoughts and opinions. It’s also helping each other with various professional and personal matters without expecting anything back. It is hard to connect with somebody you've never met in person, even if you are connected to them on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Google+ or any other social network.
Proximity (both physical and virtual) can give the false illusion of intimacy. We are being friendly, we can hold a light conversation, but how do we get to the deeper, more meaningful, and as a result, more mutually beneficial connection?
For me, it’s time to be honest with myself about the quality of my relationships and to truly identify the real friends and invest deeply in them. After so many events, meet-ups, conferences and dinners, the time to build a true tribe, a more connected community, not just a network of endless connections has come.
Here are some main ideas that I’ve learned from Keith’s book:
I am on the path toward reengineering my personal network. This is a continuous process that has taken me years to accomplish. I am still not finished, but I have a clear set of goals and guiding principles in hand. And I feel very lucky to have found and read Keith’s book Never Eat Alone at a pivotal time of my life nearly eight years ago. We have a great a book club that studies and uses Keith’s books and implements his principles in real life – with a number of senior executives and accomplished entrepreneurs and we all have benefited from Keith’s ideas enormously.
You’ll find me at numerous conferences and local community events for entrepreneurs, engineers and students, meeting thousands of new people. Introductions beget introductions, and a big community was created. It’s a dream world for an entrepreneur where innovative companies are built and amazing experiences are had, all with an L.A. backdrop.
I realize how fortunate I am to live this life – but it still feels very lonely. Even with 1,000+ LinkedIn connections, Facebook, Google Plus friends and thousands of Twitter followers, it’s easy to “never be alone” and still feel very lonely.
Having many contacts in the address book may look and feel impressive, but how many of them are actual, true friends? Through my experience of having run several businesses before, I know that very few people stick around during tough times. But one is always guaranteed to have lots of friends during times of success. So how do you go about deepening existing “light” relationships and turning mere acquaintances, or Google Plus friends/Twitter followers, into real, close relationships?
The solution exists: one of the most effective methods to creating more powerful and lifelong connections is perfectly described in Keith Ferrazzi‘s book Never Eat Alone, which I first found and read in 2006. It had a powerful and positive impact on my personal and professional life as well as on my career development. Keith’s ideas have been a game changer – they brought into existence a great system of how to do this in the best way possible. And ever since, I’ve always kept several copies of his book in my library to gift to my closest friends and professional contacts.
True friends are people who keep us real and tell us the truth about our lives. They are not afraid to give constructive criticism. They are not motivated by the desire to just look nice and say nothing if they see things about us that we could change for the better. They are not afraid to speak up.
Tue friends help us understand ourselves better, they are honest but also offer much needed encouragement. They’re not persuaded by exclusive invitations or access to hard-to-get-into companies, parties and events.
We all need more true friends. I surely do! More specifically, we all need our average “connections” to become deeper, more meaningful friendships.
It takes work and time to form a lasting friendship. It takes many face-to-face meetings over lunch, dinner or coffee. It takes an exchange of ideas, thoughts and opinions. It’s also helping each other with various professional and personal matters without expecting anything back. It is hard to connect with somebody you've never met in person, even if you are connected to them on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Google+ or any other social network.
Proximity (both physical and virtual) can give the false illusion of intimacy. We are being friendly, we can hold a light conversation, but how do we get to the deeper, more meaningful, and as a result, more mutually beneficial connection?
For me, it’s time to be honest with myself about the quality of my relationships and to truly identify the real friends and invest deeply in them. After so many events, meet-ups, conferences and dinners, the time to build a true tribe, a more connected community, not just a network of endless connections has come.
Here are some main ideas that I’ve learned from Keith’s book:
I use Keith’s ideas in my personal and professional life (as they are interlinked), and they are critical to my success. I am fortunate to have a supportive network of friends and business associates. I am always looking to expand and build more meaningful relationships as I grow, develop, change and flourish in my career and personal life.
- It’s better to give before you receive. Never keep score. If your interactions are ruled by generosity, your rewards will follow suit.
- Treat people well: Yesterday’s assistant is today’s influence peddler. Remember, it’s easier to get ahead in the world when those below you are happy to help you get ahead.
- Each of us is now a brand – and I totally agree with that because our true friends are our best personal “brand consultants.” Companies use branding to develop strong, enduring relationships with customers. In today’s fluid economy, you must do the same with your network.
- Contribute: Give your time, money and expertise to your growing community of friends.
I am on the path toward reengineering my personal network. This is a continuous process that has taken me years to accomplish. I am still not finished, but I have a clear set of goals and guiding principles in hand. And I feel very lucky to have found and read Keith’s book Never Eat Alone at a pivotal time of my life nearly eight years ago. We have a great a book club that studies and uses Keith’s books and implements his principles in real life – with a number of senior executives and accomplished entrepreneurs and we all have benefited from Keith’s ideas enormously.
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