Building Your Lifeline Learning Team
| 05 | Jul |
| 2013 |
Throughout our exploration of the
continuous learning circle, we’ve helped you develop the tools, knowledge
and confidence to address your hard and soft skills gaps and build on your
strengths – all in the service of furthering your desired career goals. Now,
we’d like to address the next essential stage in your journey: developing your
“Lifeline Learning Team.” This is your handpicked inner circle of advisors, your
“dream team” of mentors, gurus and collaborators that you will trust more than
anyone else to tell you the truth and who will help you reset your course when
you lose your way.
A lifeline differs from a friend or contact in your network because of the
trust and high level of candor you will expect from one another, and because you
give your lifelines “butt-kicking rights” to hold you accountable. And if you’ve
ever had an important person or group of people in your life who shepherded you
in the right direction, you know what I mean.Finding One of My Lifelines
You’ve already experienced the power and potential of lifeline relationships at some point in your life. Imagine some of the attributes of the best bosses you’ve ever had – the kind boss who encourages you and doesn’t micromanage but guides your development with wisdom and handles your slip-ups with firmness, understanding and candor. Or think back to that great coach who was there for you during your ups and downs as an athlete, or a family member who dropped everything to be there for you at a critical juncture in your life and didn’t let you fail.
I’ve learned how amazing these rewards can be at difficult times in my life. Some years ago, I was in the midst of some financial frustration. My company was doing just fine, but that didn’t stop me from worrying as I reinvested my earnings back into the company: What would happen if my business declined? Could I survive a downturn in the economy?
One night at a dinner party, I found myself sitting
next to Bob Kerrigan, the head of a major financial services firm. We had never
met before, but Bob had read my books. Out of the
blue, Bob began asking me questions about my business – questions that some
might consider intrusive coming from a stranger. But, because of my financial
worries, I welcomed his queries; they felt like the helping hands of someone
lifting a 100-pound weight off my chest. Keep in mind, we had developed a bond
commiserating about our personal lives, and we felt comfortable opening our
discussion to a higher level of candor.
That night, Bob and I committed to meet for dinner to talk about what was
troubling me. After Bob and I got together, we continued to meet at least once a
month thereafter. During those dinners, he offered advice, chided me for
neglecting crucial aspects of my business, gave me homework and pieced together
a plan to fix what was ailing my company. But this wasn’t a one-way relationship: Bob was interested in writing a book, getting speaking engagements and getting involved in public service. I enthusiastically shared my insights and connected him with top people in those industries.
Bob forced me to be accountable in learning a hard skill – budgeting – and encouraged a soft skill: the discipline to look at and address weak spots in my game as an entrepreneur. We had developed trust, therefore we could have candid conversations – and those conversations spurred an ongoing relationship where we held each other accountable on dealing with our gaps. Those are distinguishing factors of a member of your lifeline learning team.
Recognizing A Lifeline
Your lifeline learning team may only have a half-dozen people because it’s helpful to meet as a group from time to time – logistics become more complicated when too many people are involved.
There are many places to find lifeline learning team
members, but the most likely place is your
learning network. Lifelines can come from your close contacts, and weaker
contacts with whom you feel comfortable but don’t share the same professional or
personal circles. In this way, you can be honest with them in a way that you
couldn’t with your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, family member or best
friend. (Our closest counterparts have their own perceptions of us, weighed down
by past memories.)
Potential circles for lifelines can include past colleagues, old friends,
teachers, bosses and mentors. School is another possibility. Even if you
graduated many years ago, why not contact a former classmate? They might be
delighted to be back in your life and part of your team. Moreover, every
business conference that you attend is a perfect venue for potential lifeline
learning team members.Determining who among these people could join your team can be an arduous task that requires a diligent evaluation process. To simplify this effort, ask yourself how well they meet the criteria I call “the Four Cs’”: commitment, comprehension, chemistry and curiosity.
The Four C’s
Commitment: Is he/she prepared to give you all the time you need at the moment to work through complex issues? Initially, you should get together at least once a month for several hours. In between, you should talk, especially if there is a problem that needs addressing. The ideal lifeline is a partner who will be emotionally tied to you 24/7; their commitment to you should be so strong that your concerns are always in the back of their mind.
Comprehension: Your lifeline doesn’t have to be an expert in your field, but they must have real business know-how – even if it’s not directly related to your profession. Your “personal board” should be just as broadly intelligent and proficient in your business as a company board is in its corner of the corporate environment.
Chemistry: You and your lifeline team must genuinely like and admire each other. That deep connection is essential for breakthrough insights to occur.
Curiosity: Your closest advisors should be interested in the relationship and what you are telling them, or the lifeline will fray quickly. Their curiosity and desire to become instant experts in your specific career concerns is a necessary quality for a great mentor.
Above all, lifelines will be tested and proven by their resilience and loyalty over time. A life that includes engaged supporters boosts our well-being and confidence. As the Greek philosopher Epicurus said, “It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help.”
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