Because we can’t.
Conflict in the workplace is
unavoidable, because as humans, there will always be things that people see
differently.
Conflict management is a daunting
(and usually unpleasant) responsibility that many struggle with and
unfortunately, many people avoid conflict simply because they don’t feel
adequately equipped to address it.
And as a leader, I know how
important conflict resolution skills are – to the success and development
of my employees, the success of my business and my life. Because when left
unresolved, conflict can destroy morale, decrease productivity and paralyze
an entire organization.
So the next time you're faced
with a conflict situation (and you will, it's just a matter of when), use
these five ways to de-escalate the conflict.
1. Listen
Listening is a powerful tool. When other people think that you have not
listened to their concerns, they will almost invariably see you as a
threat.
2. Acknowledge and accept they’re emotions/feelings
Building on the idea of listening, I recommend that you acknowledge and
accept the other person’s feelings without passing judgement on them. As I
said when I wrote the tongue-in-cheek post about how to make a conflict
worse, I don’t recommend telling them how they feel. It is usually okay to
ask them how they feel and then to acknowledge it.
3. Apologize for your contribution
This is a point I have made before, and I think it is worth making again:
very few conflicts are entirely the fault or responsibility of only one
party. There is almost always something that you have done to make the
conflict worse. To de-escalate the conflict, accept responsibility for your
contribution and apologize for it.
4. Control your tone and body language
A significant portion of the message people receive from you in
face-to-face communication is conveyed through your body language and your
voice tone. If you look threatening, you are threatening. If you want to
de-escalate a conflict, remember to control your tone and body-language.
5. Focus on the future
Getting hung-up in the past is a sure-fire way to make conflicts worse.
When you shift the conversation to the future, you engage both you and the
other person in a problem solving activity rather than a fault-finding
exercise. You create hope, and you make yourself less threatening.
Resolving conflicts has a real
bottom line implication, it isn’t just about making people happier at work.
And I see many people give up on
the process far too soon - throwing up their hands and giving up at the
first sign of significant difficulty or resistance from the other person.
Part of developing conflict confidence
comes from building confidence in the tools and the process to ultimately
lead to a successful resolution and a willingness to engage in the process
long enough to let it work. Practice the steps I outline above and watch
your conflict confidence soar.
Guy Harris
Master Trainer & Coach
The Kevin Eikenberry Group
|
Build
Confidence and Move Conflict from Confrontation to Resolution!
In this powerful two-day workshop,
you'll learn:
- How to identify and overcome your personal barriers
to successful conflict resolution.
- What triggers and escalates conflicts.
- What you can do to safely de-escalate conflicts.
- The power (and danger) of assumptions
- Practical strategies and techniques to resolve
conflicts.
- How to keep your cool when the conversation gets
hot.
- Tips and techniques to build your conflict
confidence.
- And much more!
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