Monday, May 13, 2013

Fear is not respect


Well, it happened again. Someone I know just through business networking events, we'll call her "Jane Doe," was going on and on about how much her agents and employees needed to respect her more.
"I've earned it!" she exclaimed. Jane was quite insistent on how she "demanded respect" with the many ways she forced her staff to do her bidding. This included a long list of personal tasks and pointless chores.
I thought much of her bragging should have been embarrassing to her. You may be the broker and employer, but demeaning staff who fear for their jobs is not my thing. And I can't see how this behavior helps her team work more efficiently or be more customer focused.
In my opinion, Jane was soaking in the fear she created and fooling herself to believe it is respect.
Fear is not respect. Fear is aggressive and incites reaction. Respect is assertive and brings response.
I see too many people like Jane who bully to create fear and resentment, then claim it's respect. Either they don't know what respect is or in their need for respect they will take anything close and claim it. In the meantime, the great agents and employees leave while the bad or scared people stay. What value does that add to an organization?
Through the years as I've met others in various businesses, I also learn much about their business culture and leadership. Here are some unscientific observations I've made about many "demanding" business leaders:Woman in distress at conference room table
1. If you have to keep saying you demand respect, then you clearly have not earned it. Solid, healthy leaders don't keep disrespectful staff but they do keep intelligent people who are safe in expressing their own points of view.
2. If people operate in fear of being fired at the whim or disposition of a boss, they will both hate their job and do nothing extra to help a organization grow. These agents and employees keep their mouth shut and do only enough to get paid; only the desperate work in such an environment, a work place that is not mentally healthy for anyone.
3. People hate to be shoved but love to follow. Now we all need a proper nudge ever so often. Sometimes, we need a friendly push. But don't expect much growth from people who are regularly berated, tricked, embarrassed, and yelled at.
4. Listening is either selective or turned off. We hear what we want to hear. Everything else is just noise that is immediately (or soon) forgotten. The babble of the bully boss has to be ignored or one can't survive it and remain emotionally healthy.
Naturally, I'm sure you can add to this list and we all have stories of the disasters brought on by bully bosses. The best leaders I know have great empathy and respect for their teams, the exact opposite behavior of the bullies.
Leadership is behavior based. What is your behavior?

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Glenn S. Phillips is the CEO of Lake Homes Realty and LakeHomes.com.
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10 Comments on Fear Is Not Respect

MAY
12
102,426 Points1 Featured PostOutside Blog
Great post and you're right on point. Management is so much more than Jane's limited view of it. And motivating people by first creating an environment of trust and support should be her focus.
5:08am • #1
1,415,065 Points41 Featured PostsOutside BlogAttended Rain CampCalled Shot Master
You are right.. . being a bully from school to the work place will get you the same results. .
5:27am • #2
125,101 Points
Very good points. Everyone deserves respect, not just the boss! Its extremely important to create a work atmosphere that inspires a great work ethic and growth.
5:32am • #3
557,562 Points17 Featured PostsCalled Shot Master
People have to earn respect, and you are correct: demanding it does not work.
5:54am • #4
In my short lilfe, I have learned that when you have earned the respect of others, you are quite simply, respected. When you have not earned the respect of others, some then demand it while others grow and do what is required to earn it. If you have to demand respect, then, quite frankly, you do not know what respect is.
8:12am • #5
18 Featured Posts
Hi John, right on! It seems easy, but so many struggle to trust. Thanks! G
Fernando, great point, she is a bully. Good add. G
Hi Valerie, yes, everyone does deserve respect, for everyone is good at something. G
Hi Carol, I often wonder how those demanding ever believe they're respected. G
Roger, good point, respect is not understood by so many. Thanks for commenting! G
8:42am • #6
772,655 Points16 Featured PostsOutside BlogAttended Rain CampCalled Shot Master
Glenn, you are quite right...if you have to demand respect then you certainly have not earned it or deserve it...suggested!
7:57pm • #7
MAY
13
225,388 Points
Sounds like Jane Doe is going to have a constant turn over of staff. Get lots more with honey then the alternative.
10:56am • #8
264,502 Points11 Featured PostsOutside BlogCalled Shot Master
Glenn - wow! I can't imagine thinking outloud like that, that this person has already earned their respect. That speaks volumes about the agent/broker. Same rules apply when telling someone how much money you have. If you have it, why discuss it.
11:20am • #9
6 Featured PostsOutside Blog
You're so right! When you've really earned respect, you know it and you don't need to be demanding it.
12:14pm • #10


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