Are you a joyus one?

Are You a "Joyous One?"

December 12, 2013

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One of my resolutions is to “Give positive reviews.” I want to show enthusiasm, delight, and a readiness to be pleased – to lay aside my desire to criticize and to indulge in puncturing humor, sarcasm, ironic asides, cynical comments, or cutting remarks.
It’s harder than it sounds.
A prayer attributed to St. Augustine of Hippo includes the line, Shield your joyous ones:
Tend your sick ones, O Lord Jesus Christ;
rest your weary ones; bless your dying ones;
soothe your suffering ones; pity your afflicted ones;
shield your joyous ones.
And all for your love’s sake.
When I first read this prayer, it struck me as odd that among prayers for the “dying” and “suffering” is a prayer for the “joyous.” Why worry about the joyous ones?
Once I started to reflect about my “joyous ones,” I began to appreciate the people I know who are joyous. As part of my happiness project, I try to keep resolutions like Leave things unsaid, Let it go, and Sing in the morning – and trying to keep those resolutions has made me understand much better how much effort it takes to be consistently good-tempered and positive.
For example, I remember that one day when we were visiting Kansas City, my father came home from work and my mother told him, “We’re having pizza for dinner.” As she knew he would, my father answered, “Wonderful! Wonderful! Do you want me to go pick it up?”
We all knew that my father would have answered that way even if he didn’t want pizza for dinner, and even if the last thing he felt like doing was heading back out the door — and that kind of consistent enthusiasm contributes a lot to everyone’s happiness.
We non-joyous types suck energy and cheer from the joyous ones. We rely on them to buoy us with their good spirit and to cushion our agitation and anxiety.
At the same time, because of a dark element in human nature, we’re sometimes provoked to try to shake the joyous ones out of their fog of illusion. Instead of shielding their joy, we blast it. For example, it’s easy to make fun of joyous ones’ enthusiasms. Why is this? I have no idea. But that impulse is there.
In his outstanding biography, Samuel Johnson, W. Jackson Bate describes how upset the temperamental Samuel Johnson became when his joyous, enthusiastic supporter, Hester Thrale, turned her attention away from him.
It is a common mistake on the part of cooler, self-contained natures to assume that those who have a giving and ebullient character are what they are only because they cannot help it—that they are fed from a spring that will never stop rather than a reservoir that can be exhausted. Hence the feeling of stark disbelief or unpleasant shock on the part of others when the reservoir of effort and energy—for it turns out to be a reservoir—is almost gone….the principal reward for those who give lavishly rather than meagerly is the expectation that they remain true to form and continue to give.
We depend on the joyous ones, and we need to remember that their joy isn’t inexhaustible or unconquerable. Now I’m making a real effort to use my own good cheer to support and protect the enthusiasts I know.
Shield your joyous ones.
Do you know joyous ones – or are you one? Do you find that people often feed off that energy, yet also try to squash it? I've heard from many joyous ones, who are puzzled and drained by people's desire to squelch that part of their nature.
To read more on this topic, check out Happier at Home, chapter on "interior design" (which isn't about home renovation, but about working on my inner attitudes and beliefs).
---I continue to be staggered by the response to the four new 21 Day Projects. If you want to make some concrete, manageable changes in your life, I hope these Projects will be helpful. Curious about the breakdown? Know myself better is in the lead; De-clutter my life is next; Quit yelling at your kids; and Cope better with difficult people.
Intrigued? Of course you are! Learn more and sign up here.

Photo: eclectic_chica, Flickr

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Gretchen Rubin