Take Back control in your life and your real estate business

Take Back Control in Your Life and Your Real Estate Business

Reprinted with permission from Bernice Ross

 

With all the negative news these days about the fiscal cliff, war in the Middle East, huge possible increases in taxes, it’s easy to feel as if you don’t have control over yourself or the events in your life. Here are four steps you can take to feel more in control no matter what is going on in the crazy world elsewhere.

1. Observe: What’s Working

The first step in increasing the control you experience in your life begins with awareness. To increase your sense of control, use observation to  determine those parts of your life that work and don’t work. Think of observation as a muscle that gets stronger and more agile with exercise.

Ask yourself: “Where do I currently have unreasonable expectations of being in control?” Write them down.

“What is my experience of those expectations in the past—could I really control them?”

Be specific here about the incident, the outcome, and what you experienced before, during, and after the event.

2. Baby Steps Put You Back in the Driver’s Seat

An old Zen says: “Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.” The key to life is taking action. We learn from our mistakes – use observation and action to provide you with the information you need to grow. The size of action step is unimportant. Just keep taking action steps. Take a moment to respond to the three items below:

a) Name one action step you could take to improve the control you have in your life already.

b)  List one action step you could take to let go of trying to control others. Write it down and track your progress.

c) As you gain success with step one, start taking bigger action steps.

People who are secure have no need to control others. It’s when we are feeling threatened or scared that we often need to exert more control. Unfortunately, the more we try to control others, the more out of control things generally become.

If you are currently experiencing a life that flows easily, there’s a good chance you’re functioning with healthy levels of self control.  In contrast, if you keep bumping into road blocks from the other people in your life, return to the awareness step. When do you experience this “push back” from those in your life? When do you experience support? Each of these situations can help you identify where control issues may be blocking your forward progress.

3. Seek Support

How is strong is your personal support network? Who will be there for you no matter what? A more important question is, “Who would you be there for no matter what?” To have a strong support network, you must be willing to support others.

To make your support network even more effective, look carefully at the type of support you give and receive from others. Some people will “support” you to behave in unhealthy ways that actually damage your ability to maintain healthy control. These people actually cause you harm. When you identify who they area, do your best to let them spend their harmful energy elsewhere.

Healthy support occurs when you want only the best possible outcome for another person, regardless of what they decide to do. When someone chooses to engage in harmful behavior to either you or someone else, you can still hold that support for them mentally, but physically, the healthiest option for you may be to limit or eliminate contact with that harmful person.

If you want to feel more in control provide the highest level of positive support for those around you as well as being willing to walk away from those toxic people who can do serious harm to your sense of security and control.

4. Be Willing to Walk Away from the Wrong Clients

One of the best ways to take control back of your business is to get rid of clients who aren’t a good fit. Fire that seller who refuses to reduce his or her price and get rid of those buyers who have been looking for the last year and never put an offer in on anything. These people are simply not right for your business. Working with them makes you feel like you are not in control. In most cases, firing them will leave you sitting on top of the world. It also has the extra benefit of creating room for more, better business to come into your life.