3 Traits of Accountable People
Posted by John G. Miller on May 7, 2013
QBQ! fans know that accountable folks don’t
ask Incorrect Questions (IQs) such as:
“Why don’t I ever get
a break?”
“When will they
communicate better?”
“Who dropped the
ball?”
QBQ! believers know that IQs like these lead to Victim Thinking,
Procrastination, and Blame. They also know that asking The
Question Behind the Question (QBQ) is the way to eliminate these traps.
QBQs such as, “What can I do to solve the problem?” and “How can I
contribute?” make the difference. This is all good.
But
once a person takes QBQ! to heart and begins to practice personal
accountability, there are a few outward signs—traits and
characteristics—she or he will exhibit. Here are just
three:
1. Transparency
“What you see is what
you get” is what you see and get from people who take ownership for their lives.
Not sure why, maybe it’s the “I’m happy in my own skin” thing. A
confident-from-the-inside-out person readily says, “Yep, my bad” and “Right, it
was my mistake.” In fact, they’ll go there as easily as an inauthentic person—as
my mentor used to see—will spend time “looking good rather than being
good.”
People who choose not
to blame others in an attempt to hide their imperfections, deep-down
insecurities, and self-esteem deficits—who have little to no need to play the
recrimination game—are more genuine. This is appealing and
attractive.
2. Humility
Karen and
I write this in Parenting the QBQ
Way:
Accountable parents model humility by using the magic
words for developing and maintaining a healthy relationship: “I’m sorry.”
Humility and contrition are foundational to effective parenting, and it’s simply
vital that we bring them to our families. A little “I’m sorry, I was wrong. I
don’t know everything!” goes a long way.
People who are committed
to personal accountability keep a mirror handy. Pulling it out often, they ask
the QBQ, “Well, what could I have done differently?” And if the thought
response is, Hmm, several things! then it just isn’t difficult for them
to utter those outstanding words, “I’m sorry.”
3. Joyful
Consider this: People who
avoid the traps of blame, finger-pointing, whining, complaining, procrastinating
are just happier people. It may be a claim on my part, but it’s a claim based on
research conducted since I entered the training business in 1986.
I mean, what’s joyful
about a whiner?!?
“Joy” isn’t a word we
use much, but it’s a great place to live. When we are filled with joy, there’s
greater contentment with what we have, more peace within, and a lot less tension
and stress. “She’s happy-go-lucky” and “He’s easy to be around” are descriptions
of joyful people. Practicing personal accountability in all things is one way of
getting there.
So there’s our short list. Discussion
question:What other traits and characteristics come with living a life of personal accountability?
Comment away!
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