My Kick A%% coash Vicki G speaks to me again

But I Don’t Feel Like It!

by Vicki Garcia on June 19, 2012

How often do you find yourself being driven by what you feel? You don’t feel like working out so you don’t. You feel angry at your co-worker so you respond to her email more harshly than you would have liked. You feel tired and unmotivated so you don’t follow up right away with a client.
Taking action based on how you feel is rarely a good idea!
I encourage my private coaching clients to feel their feelings and not avoid them or push them down. However, when we not only feel our feelings but let them have influence over our decisions, they can lead us astray.
Feelings are just feelings. They have no bearing on your ability to achieve what you set out to achieve. Now, I don’t want anyone to think I’m minimizing feelings. It’s just that sometimes we give them WAY more power than we should. Feelings can be so intense that they can cause us to see situations from a skewed perspective. We make mountains out of mole hills. We see insult where there was none intended. We blame the other person when we are equally or even more responsible.
Feelings lie and can cause us to avoid actions that could propel us forward. They can also cause us to take actions that are not productive.
Here are 4 steps to help you avoid the pitfalls of letting your feelings decide your actions.
1. Pay attention to your feelings and label them. Are you angry, or sad or lonely or afraid? Call it by name. Don’t make the mistake of always defaulting to one feeling like anger. You have many so take a moment to identify how you are really feeling.
2. Give yourself some time to just feel what you feel. No running and no judgment. Look at it from a distance and be an observer of your feelings.
3. Once you’ve labeled and spent some time with your feelings, ask yourself what you want to accomplish (in the situation, relationship, job, moment, etc.).
4. Once you know what you want to accomplish, take action toward it regardless of how you are feeling.
The idea is to experience all of what you feel AND take action based on your goals and commitments, not your feelings.
If you practice this you will find that no matter what is going on in your environment, you can stay focused on your goals and continually make progress toward them.